Friday, June 27, 2008

Tomorrow Never Knows

I feel unhinged, literally, a door about to slap down out of its jamb onto the floor. I feel like I'm sinking. I feel like I'm drowning. I feel sodden. I feel sullen. I feel irresponsible. I feel guilty. I feel wronged. I feel like my feet are filled with concrete. I feel like my lungs are filled with cotton. I feel like I cannot breathe. I feel like I cannot look. I feel like I just went for a walk wearing a green shirt, orange pants, a blue bag, and gold clogs. I feel like I ought to do laundry. I feel like I ought to vacuum. I feel like I need more empire-waisted tops. I feel like I want a new bottle of perfume. I feel like my baby is one thousand million jillion hundred miles away from me on the living room floor. I feel like my husband will never come home. I feel like I've lost every important possession. I feel like someone else just got the last laugh. I feel like I'll never work in this town again. I feel like it will rain today and tomorrow and the day after that. I feel like I won't be here tomorrow. I feel like I'm not here right now. I feel like I want to go home. I feel like I don't know where home is.

1 comment:

KG said...

Heh. And here I am thinking that a beautiful baby, a loving husband, not having to go to work, and looking super cute in every outfit would stop all these feelings. There's got to be a way, huh? Whoever figures it out first tells the other? xxoo