Sunday, April 20, 2008

"Tech Support"

An important thing to know about me is that I often wind up buying things without having meant to. For example, I was at Starbucks the other morning before doing a spot of group dancing in personal environment, and I had only intended to get a cup of coffee, as it was the kind of chilly weather that just begs for a nice cup of milky coffee. In the pastry counter, though, there was a pretty plate of little scones that said "One for x dollars, three for y dollars." The suggestion was just too much for me, and when the girl at the register said, "Anything else?" I found myself saying, "I'll take six of those, please." I offered them to the other dancers and, shockingly, only one person took one, so I ate the rest by myself the next day during the baby's nap. (Another good example of me buying things I didn't quite mean to is whenever I go to The Upper Breast Side, which is why I try to limit my trips there.)

In any case, today I called Dell "Tech Support" because my laptop monitor, distressingly, kept going black. I put quotes around the phrase not because the gentlemen with whom I spoke were not technologically supportive; indeed, they were exceedingly technologically supportive and kind, and didn't even sigh or act annoyed when I got confused about really simple things ("Um, where's the battery again?"). However, no matter how good at "Tech Support" they were, they were even better at selling me things, so I suspect that "Tech Support" is code for "Sales to Suggestible Idiots." Indeed, by the time I got off the phone, I had been sold $387 worth of upgrades for my (admittedly old and pokey) computer. Sneer at my suggestibility and idiocy if you like, but dammit, I challenge you to get on the phone with these geniuses and not spend any money. After I got off the phone, I sat on the floor with the baby, suffused with the triumphant/panicky feeling that often follows my unintended purchases. After a little while longer, the baby started fussing, and I fed him to sleep and napped myself, sleeping the whole episode off.